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You Don’t Have to Be Strong All the Time

    Letting Go of 'Always Being Strong', Strength in vulnerability

    woman facing the left side of the image with her back to a brick wall. She is looking at the viewer.

    I don’t know about you but I used to feel like I had to be strong all of the time. 

    To handle my business and those of others through how I acted and responded. 

    It felt as though I wasn’t allowed to have big emotions

    To work through my feelings in any other space but alone. 

    That if I felt anything it was my fault and I should control how I feel.

    It will never get better if we never talk about it

    I didn’t know it at the time but it was never about controlling my feelings.

    They would exist if I recognized them or not

    But recognizing them meant that others would have to as well

    And those people were the ones that didn’t know how to handle their feelings

    So instead of learning to manage

    Learning to work through

    Learning to understand themselves

    They want me to just not feel it

    Or at the very least not say anything

    There wasn’t room for vulnerability, you just had to be “strong”

    people gathered around a round coffee table smiling and laughing

    Accountability and Emotional Growth

    Accountability isn’t welcomed when it involves them

    However if I were to call them out for the same thing, 

    I am the one who has the problem

    And therefore should know how to handle my emotions

    This drove me mad until I realized I could never “win”

    It was never about bettering ourselves 

    So I just made sure I was better today than I was yesterday

    Learning how to talk about the hard stuff while staying vulnerable

    There is strength in vulnerability

    It became easier as I realized that those who show compassion and work with me

    Are the ones I want to work with

    I want to share my time with

    I want to take advice from

    There wasn’t a reason to continue to talk to those other people

    They had already showed me who they are

    Instead of growing alone I found other people to grow with me

    It wasn’t a race

    The mentality of being better or learning “faster” to look better was fading from my circle of influence

    A person lies relaxed on a blanket amidst a natural setting, surrounded by green foliage, with their hands resting gently on their abdomen.

    Celebrating Progress Over Perfection

    Maybe it was about our age

    I’m sure there are factors I never considered before

    For example my anger was often an issue

    Although it usually wasn’t targeted at a specific person

    That energy did touch everything around it

    I’m happy that I can now say I took responsibility for that

    It took a long time and wasn’t easy but it’s so much easier to do now. 

    Find Spaces Where You Can Be Soft

    It’s funny how it all made sense when I stopped trying to be “strong” all of the time

    I allowed myself to make mistakes in public

    Around other people

    Most of them were understanding

    Many of them were kind and helpful

    My circle of influence had changed

    My mindset was evolving

    I no longer cared about what others were doing

    I cared about why they were doing it

    You are strong

    Everyone knows it

    Now find places where you can can soft

    People that protect you when you are at your most vulnerable

    Those that build you up when you make a mistake

    The ones that call you out with kindness because it’s not about being right or wrong

    It’s about being better than you were yesterday

    Brené Brown gets it, from vulnerability comes strength and freedom to live your most authentic life