Why Comparison Kills Progress

There was once a time where I thought I would never be able to be a great manual therapist or massage therapist. I felt all over the place and although I thrived in chaotic fast paced environments I always felt behind. I was lucky enough to surround myself with older entrepreneurs. So, while I was comparing myself to them and focused on how far behind I was, I also got to learn a lot from them. It wouldn’t hit me until later but they influenced who I was becoming and how I wanted my practice to evolve. 

In comparison to..

Comparing a young 21 year old new massage therapist to those that have been doing it for years wasn’t the smartest. I tried to learn from as many people as I could so that I would feel adequate or on the same level as those that I looked up to.  Of course all of them had decades of experience and PHDs in their field, while I was literally brand new to the medical world and a college drop out. 

Every time I would take a new class I would have more questions than answers. I felt pressured to spend even more time on massage and bodywork but not hands on. I felt like I needed to be just as educated as the physicians I worked under. To be on their level. 

Creating your level

It’s wild to me that when I stopped trying to be on their level that I found a secret level. 

Mine.

This level was freeing. I stopped putting “knowing it all” on myself and instead worked more closely with my clients. Learning how to ask the right questions and which classes I should focus on. I started following my gut more and was more open to change. I opened up my private practice in 2014 for “real”. This was the first time I felt I was able to describe what I do and how I do it. 

I was wrong, but I tried to explain it either way. 

I created a client centered, biopsychosocial, manual therapy, myofascial massage practice. 

This came with a lot of unsolicited advice and “help” from those that thought I was doing it wrong. 

You can create anything

This was the first time I noticed what was happening. 

When you start creating something of your own, people get nervous.

It can trigger a person into their fear

Or imagination

People thought that a massage practice should be in a dark room with candles and nice smelling oils. Instead my practice was inside of a one room art gallery with lots of bright light. I used matching dark sheets instead of white and didn’t charge extra for oils or “extras”. 

I didn’t let comparison creep back in this time. 

Maybe imposter syndrome here and there but overall I continued to listen to my gut. 

I moved many times and each time I used it as an opportunity to change things and improve my practice. 

I was still a student, literally taking 1 or more classes a year. 

I’m still like this. 

I’m still pushing the boundaries of what a massage practice is “supposed” to look like.

Although it is healthy to look at others in your field it isn’t healthy to compare yourself. You never know what they went through to get there. 

Comparison will kill your drive

I feel like once you realize that no one knows what they are doing

And your practice is literally that,

A practice

It’s ever evolving and growing

But you can only grow if you have the capacity for it

Getting stuck in the weeds

Comparison will kill your drive

You are you’re own time keeper

As you plan your day you make choices that determine how well equip your future self is.

Don’t let others take your time away from you.

That project can wait, you need to take care of you.

While that looks different for everyone, for me my self care is therapy, personal training, and flow arts.

Those are things that have sacred moments in my life.

Those moments are precious and I protect them by holding space for them. That means that I am at my best when I need to evaluate my personal life, business, and beyond. While everything plays a role, I am the only person that will always put my best interest first.

I hope this blog post helps you in some way. That you are less likely to let comparison kill a dream you have. An idea you love.

I am considering writing more pieces like this 

let me know if there are any topics you would like me to cover!

• As you reflect on who you want to be you have to examine the choices you are making now.
• Are you going to look back and say thank you to who you are now?
• Will you be able to look back and be happy with the choices you are making now?
• Is comparison creeping into your mind and changing your perspective? 

Learn more about Ashley. Have questions? Send us an email! info@tranquiltherapywellness.com